My Masquerade

2006-12-25T20:46:00.000+08:00

merry christmas everyone!

2006-12-20T16:25:00.000+08:00

i fear my writing.

not because its marvellously fine or anything. more like particularly bad. so bad that i when i re-read the first paragraph of Weinnessburg, my story entry for the nus creative writing competition, it felt so alarmingly boring that i decided to scrap it off, leaving me with a grand total of ZERO words in my story. and the dateline is only 10 days away! take away 5 days of christmas partying and 3 days for tok and that leaves me with 2 days to write and edit a 3000 word story.

maybe its time for me to get a muse.

-mich

2006-12-13T23:52:00.000+08:00

i am i am i am

I AM I AM I AM

Jumpin' mad

2006-11-19T20:20:00.000+08:00

I am so freaking pissed. Upon browsing through my gallery, this dude on DeviantArt wanted to know what my origin is because my portraits made him 'so curious'. Being the kind person I am, I decided against telling him and insisted that he make a guess. Yes, yes, I know. I told you I'm nice.

Anyway, the dude took up the challenge and responded insufferably, "Hmmmm...origin: you look asian, because of your nose and a bit flat face. But your eyes are really big. Maybe your mother is asian and your father is not? If thats right, then i say your mother is from thailand or vietnam."

Er, Mom, did you catch that? Now go decapitate that dude. WHY THAILAND AND VIETNAM???!!! I've seen thais and vietnameses. They so do not look like me. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not against thais and vietnameses (world peace and all) but I'm totally against being referred to as thais and vietnameses. And worryingly, this is not the first time.

And that's why I'm so furr-reeking pissed.

2006-11-01T21:40:00.000+08:00

You Are a Caramel Crunch Donut

You're a complex creature, and you're guilty of complicating things for fun.You've been known to sit around pondering the meaning of life...Or at times, pondering the meaning of your doughnut.To frost or not to frost? To fill or not to fill? These are your eternal questions.

What Donut Are You?

You Are Elektra

There's really no superhero with more style than you.Because who could beat being sexy assasin ninja?

What Superhero Are You?

You Are Best Described By...

Farbstudie QuadrateBy Wassily Kandinsky

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

-mich

2006-10-17T11:20:00.000+08:00

The hall was gay; the guests,
merry.
Delicate coiffures, cascading silk, painted faces-
prosaic.

They danced, skipping to the tune of
a memory, a life once had.
A susurating rhythm, legato
human formations, elaborately patterened.

Between their swaying bodies I caught
a fleeting glimpse of a mahogany treasure trove.
Life-sized, warm, red-brown.
Ornately adorned with leaves of young yews.

Pushing past the pulsating people palisade
I lumbered, fixated on my trump.
And when I lifted the lid, lo and behold!
A face so familiar I saw:

It was me, or my clone, beneath the wooden lid.
Lying in repose, sweet sedation;
clutching the holy book in one hand and
white lilies in the other

And as I stared and it stared back at me,
I wondered, which was me-
the one inside or outside.
What a dilemma, a ringing conundrum.

Then the music stopped.
The guests surrounded
the coffin. Closing the lid, they pushed it away,
slowly distilling a chanting song.

They left.
And I was all alone.

-mich

2006-10-06T21:20:00.000+08:00

happy birthday caesar dude!!

DUDE!! you've been the bestest matey anyone can ever ask for. ever ever. and so i'll like to wish you a spectacular spicy seventeen! one more year before you turn legal! be patient dudey, enjoy your childhood while it lasts!

anyway, exams are over! hooray! im so happy this stupid burden is gone that i dont even care about how badly im gonna do anymore. in fact i think im gonna kiss every single thing i see and scream "i love you, world" at the top of my voice.

on second thought, maybe i'll just go shopping. haha.

-mich

2006-09-22T21:45:00.000+08:00

In case she sharpens a knife for her own heart,
Creeping silently through the house to her bed,
Or tries to kill the king, or the new bridegroom,
Provoking some irreparable disaster.
She's an odd one.
You'd be a fool to cross her lightly.

hmmm.

argh everything gives me a headache. im suffering from simultaneous sneezing fits and hiccups. i've got a sore throat and a slight fever.

THIS SUCKS.

-mich

2006-09-14T19:46:00.000+08:00

Jesus Christ Superstar is the most blasphemous thing i've ever seen. its so bad that it made me reach a cathartic state of ultimate revulsion. and after that when ferd quek was asking me for comments of dunno what (wasnt listening cos of the immense shock you see), all i was able to do was to give him a blank look. and it wasnt just any blank look ok. it was seriously blank! like it was so completely void of emotion that i think it scared him a little so he decided to ask the question to someone else. it wasnt even quasi-thoughtful. shows how bad the thing was. ugh. oh the evil that corrupts the hearts of men! now im even more wary of gospel-rock hybrids..

-mich

The truth about men and women

2006-09-10T16:03:00.000+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen and anyone in between:

Have the fact that males are the dominant species on God's green Earth ever bemuse your little repositories of brainy matters? Ever cried out loud with indignation at the unfairness of it all? If you did, please shut your trap. If you didn't, give yourself a pat on the back. Now, my dear fair-weather friends, let me stun you with the stunning truth...

WHY THE WALKING BAGS OF TESTOSTERONE WALK THE WALK AND TALK THE TALK (AND WE WOMEN SHOULD JUST SHUT UP!)

Since time began, women have pursued gender equality with all the passion and vigour of seeking the Holy Grail. And what do I have to say about these determined female species? I say that they're not getting enough sex from their husbands. Yes, I'm a cynical bitch and I totally deserve to burn in bad-girl hellhole. But think about it for a moment. Male dominance can't be all that unfathomable. If you think about it hard enough, you'll know why. Men are the rulers of this lovely planet we call home, to stop us women from KILLING EACH OTHER!

Women are the scariest creatures you've ever seen. We bitch about each other, we sleep with each other's boyfriends, we pull each other's hair.. you name it, we've done it. Now, don't you go denying that there isn't an ounce of bitchiness in every fibre of your being. Remember that time you saw a girl with a distasteful micro-mini and went, "Eeeew, fat ass!"? Yup, that's the bitch in you struggling to break free. And there's a bitch struggling to break free in every single woman.

Unlike women, men do not find it fun, or satisfying even, to poke fun, despise, or dig their deadly talons into their male counterparts for no good reason. What I admire most about men is that they do not do things behind others' back (well, most men anyway). They mean what they say and they do what they feel like doing. Not convinced? Well, for those who haven't started throwing eggs at the screen (the males, mainly), do let me show you a typical conversation between females and a typical conversation between males.

TYPICAL FEMALE CONVERSATION:

Lana: Oh my gosh, Darlene! Those fishnets you've got on! They're the BOMB!

(What Lana is really saying: Eew! Fishnets are like, so passe. You look like a 50's drag queen in them.)

Darlene: Honey, you're the sweetest!

(What Darlene is really saying: Oh please, cut the act. You're totally pissed off because I look hotter than you do. And bitch, let me warn you, copy my style and I'll kick your sorry ass!)

Lana: I just can't take my eyes off them! They're so gorgeous! I'm so going to tell everyone how good you look in them!

(What Lana is really saying: I just can't take my eyes off them! They're so fugly! I'm so going to tell everyone how bad you look in them!)

An hour later, Lana met Melanie.

Lana: Oh my gosh! Did you check out Darlene's new fishnet tights? She doesn't look too good in them.

(What Lana is really saying: Fishnets or not, Darlene doesn't look good. Bitch, you'd better side with me.)

Melanie: Eeeeeew, FISHNETS?!?! The day I wear fishnets is the day Man start selling hot dogs on the Moon! Anyway, I've got to go now. Have an errand to run. See you later, babe.

(What Melanie is really saying: What?! Fishnets are in? Why didn't anyone tell me? No time for small talk now. I'm so going to get a pair now!)

On the way to get fishnet tights, Melanie met Darlene.

Melanie: Hey Darlene! I just ran into Lana and guess what? She said you look like total slut and that's like an insult to all the sluts of the world.

(What Melanie is really saying: Ouch! Sorry, sweetie. Gotta let you know that you're a slut for getting those fishnets before I got them.)

Darlene: Oh, it doesn't matter really. It's all a matter of opinion, I guess.

(What Darlene is really saying: Oh, It doesn't matter really. I'll just go sleep with her boyfriend to get back at her, I guess.)

TYPICAL MALE CONVERSATION:

Michael: Hey dude! Are those new Vans sneakers? They so totally rock, dude!

(What Michael is really saying: Hey dude! Are those new Vans sneakers? They so totally rock, dude!)

Caesar: You like 'em, mate? That's rad! Thanks!

(What Caesar is really saying: You like 'em, mate? That's rad! Thanks!)

See the difference between dudes and dudettes?

I'm not trying to say that men are perfect. They're not. They indulge in punching the hell out of each other when they've got a socially acceptable reason to. Get that? Socially acceptable reason. Not just because they think that another guy has got a nicer bikini wax or whatsoever. And this makes them more perfect than girls are. Their ability to be more reasonable and less ridiculous is something that is akin to finnish to us women.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, explains their dominance. For if females took over the world, it'll be sugar, spice and nothing nice.

2006-09-10T12:53:00.000+08:00

some interesting things i've learnt over the one week break:

1) love is blind
2) love makes you do crazy stuff
3) unrequited love sucks
4) unfounded assumptions suck

ahh. this crazy little thing called love has indeed made my week highly entertaining. haha.

anw on a more sour note, i wish my aunt would go back asap. ok this is gonna sound quite bad but shes been here for almost six weeks and shes noisy, loud, hogs the phone, argues with my grandma DAILY and is highly annoying. argh. honestly there are way too many people in this house and its getting kinda overcrowded. and they're not even paying RENT. argh im not willing to compromise my comfort for random unwelcome guests.

hmmm. im becoming selfish and bratty. so much for positivite thinking and optimism hurhur

hark! she roars,
she multiplies!
her scream knotting blood and ties.

inside her head
a war is raging.
the senseless notion of ageing

-mich

2006-09-08T00:24:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

im so pissed. like really!

im NOT all about fun, having fun and making fun of people.

im NOT unrealistic and overly-idealistic

whatever. in this world of predictabilities, i choose to follow the random and capricious path. and growing up is NOT inevitable. from this day onwards, michelle promises to never give up her childhood for anything in the world. YEAHHHHH

anw i know im loved =)

-mich

2006-08-31T16:57:00.000+08:00

yay hurray for caesar dude who has finally come out of her shell and entered into the cyber world!

haha ok im not too sure who or what the enormous thing is but if its the same person(creature) im thinking of now, you better run for your life, matey!!!

THE CREATURE

i would like to share my experience with the creature. and i must emphasize that it was the most horrifying experience ever. ever ever ever.

today, the 31st of august, teachers' day eve. the day where all teachers in the world start celebrating the birth of their profession and get high on torturing students. today, i met the wrath of the creature... (roarrrrrr!!!)

today the creature decided to play santa and give presents to all the teachers in school (i think, given the large sack of goodies that it brought). why was the creature giving out goodies? well, the answer you've been looking for, ladies and gentlemen, is... i dont know. and i can only hypothesize that it may have something to do with using these innocuous looking but lethal goodies (thats appearance vs reality for all you shakespeare fans who insist that every good story must have one) to hypnotise the teachers so it can lead them to its dark and foreboding lair and eat them all up. yum yum. kinda like the pied piper, only bigger and more sinister.

before i narrate the vile incident, i must say i should have watched the signs. yes, there was indeed a single instance which foreshadowed the Terror that was about to befall upon my humble existence:

As i was making my way to class, i saw the creature lurking yonder, just outside the classroom door. blame the rain for making me late and missing the walking exercise around the school haha. anyway the creature was giving me a weird look. i was confused but since sun tzu once said "defence is the best form of attack", i decided to wait for the creature to react. it didnt take long. the creature opened its mouth and said "did you just come? you missed the exercise." then it dawned upon me! why did i see it coming?! its exercise!! creatures love exercise and despise people who dont. yes, sad but true. ahh. i have incurred the wrath of the creature...

so anyway the sack of goodies was on a desk and yours truly was standing in front of the desk, unknowlingly acting like a barrier between the creature and its bait. and so the creature got pissed. it decided that the only way to get past poor, scrawny lil mikey dude was to... *gasp* push her!!! and thus the creature shoved mikey to one side and muttered (well, it wasnt really a mutter. was kinda like a growl-snarl hybrid. but for simplicity's sake, it will be a mutter) something that sounded very much like "screw off!" of course i could have heard wrong. but the very fact that it pushed mikey was bad enough. way bad dudeys, way bad.

ok this is gonna be quite anti-climaxish and im sorry for all you fascists and violent people but mikey dude here is a coward and didnt fight back. she just backed away and decided to vent her bitterness and anger on dt's guitar

so, all you lil dudeys and dudettes, learn from my traumatising experience. RUN AWAYYY!!!!! FLEE BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

-mich

Nervous Breakdown

2006-08-30T22:25:00.000+08:00

Firstly, I'll like to apologise to Dude Mikey for neglecting this joint blog. I totally didn't mean it. It's just that I've been so jolly prior to recently that I have nothing to blog about. And blogging about my euphoria is absolutely retarded. All you'll see are the exasperating smiley faces and the occasional 'Whoopeedoo!' which I am pretty sure will eat you alive.

Secondly, I'll like to apologise to everyone who is going to be bored enough to read the following shit. You'll probably hear enough self-pitiful moaning to last you a lifetime. Make that two. Here goes:

3 weeks ago, I was a happy girl. As happy as a lamb. Probably as happy as Mary herself too. I was glowing. But recently, everything has taken a three hundred and sixty degrees newfangled change. Still glowing? Close enough. I spent my days glowering.

It's as if I'm sauntering along this blissful path of all that's bliss and out of the blue, this humungous pile of rat droppings decided to land on my head. And all I can do currently is to try hard not to suffocate while finding my way out of the choking darkness.

Firstly, a bunch of bubbleheaded idiots have decided to screw up my life because they are bored with their own screwed up lives. By cooking up stories and feeding everyone a bite of these stories, they are getting me roasted. I have to say that these bubbleheaded idiots are not as dense as I thought after all. They spotted my Achilles' heel and hurt me where it's most painful. Being as self-conscious as Mussolini (the only difference is that I don't give much of a damn about my chin), I care about what others say about me as much as I care about a Mango storewide sale. And that says everything.

Secondly, a particularly enormous er, thing, is, er, being er, super nasty to me. For no reason at all. The only reason I can come up with is that because that er, thing is so enormous, it likes to pick on things that are not so enormous for cheap thrills and the much desired ego boost. I know it's totally silly to even bother about it but I don't know why I can't just get it out of my mind. And that's the BIG problem. Literally.

Thirdly, someone I've come to love and care so much backstabbed me and is now acting as if I was the backstabber instead. Wow, that's just like the cherry on top of such a wonderful week.

Lastly, another person I've come to love and care so much is making me wonder if my love and care is going to go unappreciated. I fear the unknown and it really hurts a great deal at times when I suspect that my greatest fear may come true. This has been going on for more than four months and at times when I feel like giving up and devote my attention elsewhere. There was a period of time when this fear was so intense that I cry myself to sleep whenever something goes wrong between us. Now, this fear has returned unwelcome. Now, coupled with my countless superficial problems, I spent half my time crying and the other half of my time trying desperately to stop the waterworks.

I fear for my insanity.

1st Corinthian Chapter 13:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

2006-08-27T14:46:00.000+08:00

im SO PISSED!!!

haha its been long since i said that. anw im not really pissed. just feel like saying that for the sake of saying that.

anw theres a current surge of nationalism flowing through me, an inevitable result of watching too many war movies recently. not for singapore of course. just a random nationalistic surge. makes me want to fight. haha fight the rugatuaaaaaaaaa!!

hmmm. my posts are getting random. and cassandra aka caesar dude isnt blogging! DUDE...!! so much for the joint blog!

-mich

2006-08-19T22:59:00.000+08:00

thanks to all who wished me a happy seventeenth birthday (although its not here yet. it will be in 1 hours time anw). thanks also to those who havent wished me a happy bday yet, but will wish me one in time to come. i shall eagerly anticipate your bday greetings.

anw im super dee duper high today!! im gonna list out all the good things that happened to me today just so that i can get higher.

1) ate an awesome peach for breakfast today. together with chocolate coated digestives.
2) dc got prematurely shortened to 1015. hah
3) iop!!!! my favourite part. mmmmmmmmmmm. secret.
4) bday celebration at the beach with cass and dt. marvelous stuff dudeys! haha thankies
5) lots of nice chocolatey stuff for dinner at home. plus another awesome peach (im really starting to get addicted to those things)

yeah so thankies everyone for helping me move from sixteen to seventeen. i shall be now be able to move on from punky angst and teeny emo-ness to mature adult philosophical ramblings and political criticisms.

hmmm.

maybe i should just stick to tackling the avalanche of weekend assignments.

2006-08-15T21:34:00.000+08:00

i've just got an ego boost. apparently the content of my IOP is not bad. and in the words of FQ, "much better than what i had expected. good job."

ahh. sweet is the feeling of triumphance! i've conquered the IOP!!

but wait! a hand pops up. its... *gasp* RGT!!(rugatuuuuaaaaa) out comes a perniciously vicious question coupled with an annoying smug and a weird, trebling croak.

"i disagree with your argument. i find it is too shaky concerning the point your brought up earlier about the tension created as a result of the air of secrecy created by Roy..."

nooooooooooooooooo!!!!

-mich

2006-08-07T18:13:00.000+08:00

*warning: insane ranting ahead*

devil: hey mich! go out and play! time's running out you know. you're not young anymore. stop thinking about tok, ee and iop!

angel: mich! be a good girl and study. you know you're gonna fail if you dont. especially your iop, ee, chinese oral, tok.. basically everything.

devil: come on you sick saint, give her a break! she has only one more year to the end of her childhood. live life to the fullest! go out and play!

angel: no! study, you stupid girl, study!

devil: play!

angel: study!

devil: PLAY!

mich looks confused. she takes a knife and slices her body in half. she pulls out her identical (but secretly evil) twin from within (a process vaguely similar to budding and perhaps binary fission) and then proceeds to sew up her body. her twin runs off to annihilate the whole world while mich sits back, drinks a cup of coffee and enjoys the show.

--------------

michelle yeo is officially crazy.

and im not kidding when i mean crazy.

crazy like i-wanna-eat-the-whole-world crazy.

crazy like i am a schizo crazy.

hurray.

gimme a five while we watch the worlds, their portals and the unchartered spaces in between burn.

boo.

2006-08-05T09:54:00.000+08:00

i believe in fairies.
i do, i do.
i know they live in toadstools.
do you, do you?

theres one, her name is Pyre.
she dances, quick-footed, amidst the roaring blaze
on mount olympus, irridescent with plumes of gold
and casts her shadow among the grey-green haze.

and oh how can i forget Gerbisca
the pint-sized lady who talks to flowers
and cantillates the susurating wild-maple song
while playing sweet notes on her tubers.

please dont let me get started on Hurrilone
the nymphet who paints the North-wind purple
with her cascading glory of pleated brushes
and her woven veil of sheer honey-apple

now to the blooming maid of the sea,
her name is Poseidra, keeper of the clashing rocks.
she patiently descants her arcadic spells
and sweeps her rhapsadious tails wrapped in glorious smocks.

these fairies come for me night after night
and persuade me to join their flight
dear fairies, blessed fairies! oh pretty please!
i wish i may, i wish i might,

have the wish i wish tonight.

(i want to fly)

-mich

2006-07-15T10:07:00.000+08:00

the hands have struck again,
the second time this week
selfishness with a dash of malice,
slimy

uneducated fingers weave story after story,
crying fables, myths and incredible tales
of jack and his magic beans, chesire cats and water nymphs.
sibilous

the haunting voice resonates.
a cold-blooded timbre
that flicks its leafy forked tongue.
sickening

sliar, sliar
pants on fire.
burn, you sliar.

-mich

2006-07-13T11:20:00.000+08:00

common tests are over!!!!!

now on to IOP, econs IA, history IA, EE draft, chinese b oral exam and lwts

where is the hiatus?

-mich

So you think you know Cassandra

2006-07-02T15:07:00.000+08:00

In an attempt to delve into the cloudy disarray of my inner paradoxical emotions, to unmask what resides clandestinely beneath my surface skin cells and to 'find' myself and hence, self-actualisation, I have executed an operation that involved the participation of my dear comrades.

Firstly, I interviewed a few close chums. In the process, I came to know about my positive and negative traits.

Interviewee #1: Huan Qing

Cassandra's (+) traits:
1) caring; good listener
2) great sense of humour that comes naturally- she's funny even though she doesn't know she is
3) champagne-bubble-about-town- a great joy to be with
4) knows her limits- work and play in moderate amounts
5) stick to her goals- when she's serious about something, she's not kidding about it

Cassandra's (-) traits:
1) dwell unnecessarily on certain matters
2) unhealthy level of emotions clouds objective point of view
3) not easily satisfied
4) too self-conscious
5) insensitive
6) spoilt- cannot take hardships; must constantly be in an environment of love

Interviewee #2: Alison

Cassandra'a (+) traits:
1) nice
2) loyal to friends

Cassandra's (-) traits:
1) very, very, VERY self-conscious
2) over-sensitive
3) dwell unnecessarily on certain issues- think too much

Interviewee #3: Alexa

Cassandra's (+) traits:
1) fun company
2) charismatic- people are easily persuaded by her display of verbal flair
3) humourous

Cassandra's (-) traits:
1) tend to be unappreciative of good things
2) dishonest
3) self- conscious!!!
4) superficial
5) too emotional

Interviewee #4: Ziyan

Cassandra's (+) traits:
1) wonderfully creative
2) funny- ability to make people laugh easily
3) considerate
4) friendly (despite bitchy face)
5) knows how to improve self- changed for better over the years, e.g. sweeter, nicer
6) do not bully people too much anymore

Cassandra's (-) traits:
1) still bully people sometimes
2) irrational
3) domineering
4) adopted slacker's attitude: pon school too much
5) too bimbotic
6) dishonest

Second phase of my operation included finding out how Julian perceives me through a series of illogical, interrogative questions.

ME: Black or white?
JUL: What in the world is that supposed to mean? (Ponders meaningfully) How about green?

ME: What do you usually associate me with?
JUL: Ben&Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream.

ME: Do you consider me a happy or sad person?
JUL: Happy. Like Bri mentioned, you're this funny little thing that hops around and makes people laugh.

ME: Okay... Am I a lettuce leaf or Darth Vader?
JUL: What the fuck? How do you even resemble a fuckin' lettuce leaf or Darth fuckin' Vader?

ME: Answer that question. (stares at Jul scarily)
JUL: Alright, chill. Er... You hate veggies right? So, I pick Darth Vader... I'm not going to answer any more of your dumb questions.

Conclusion: Operation Know-Myself has proven to be a absurd waste of time and effort. In the end, I only manage to figure out that I'm a self-conscious tub of Ben&Jerry's cookie dough ice cream that makes people laugh. How consolating.

2006-06-27T21:28:00.000+08:00

The girl started playing. Spidery fingers running over the bridge of white and black, forming endless, complex sequences. Back and forth, back and forth. Weaving melancholy, bitterness, anger and resentment into a delicate web. She began to increase the pace, adding a little Rubato and some Allegro now and then. Faster and faster she played. Oh how her fingers moved! The melody began to envelope her entire presence and she could feel every atom in her body vibrate in sync with the music. Then it happened. Something hot burst out from within and she could feel herself shrinking and multiplying into a gazillion pieces. Sparks of atoms collided and separated, forming strange and new creations, rearranging themselves into a magnificent fountain of life. Her eyes became the sea, her hair the sun, and her skin glowed with the eerie darkness of night. She soared through the skies, touching the world with her fingertips. Then, her physical presence faded away, leaving behind an empty seat and a piano.

I wonder if i can transform into sound?

-mich

2006-06-26T23:23:00.000+08:00

"So, dropping my biology textbook as though it was a hot potato, I've decided to think about life. My life, of course. I'm way too lazy to bother about anyone else's. So far, I've done nothing meaningful or constructive in my life. At the not-so-tender age of 16, I still do not know how to swim or cycle. Honestly, I find myself more pathetic than a mealworm. At least a mealworm can eat cabbage leaves. I can't even do that without barfing like mad. I want to do something unconventional with my life. Like join the Moscow circus. Or, join Greenpeace and save the whales. But then again, I've got a feeling that the Moscow circus and Greenpeace will probably expel me after a day because I grumble too much." - Cassandra

well said, caesar dude! come to think of it, joining the moscow circus is a pretty decent idea! in fact i got so hyped up abt it that i made a list of the talents i must have in order to enter. the ones in red are those that i have already proudly acquired.

1) juggling
2) singing
3) dancing
4) speak russian
5) consume fire and survive
6) lie on a bed on swords and survive
7) do 2197192741 billion flips and not get dizzy
8) do a 360 degree split

erm ok so its not THAT great. but im sure if given a year or two to practise i should be able to master most of them. and if i try really really hard and train everyday with a shaolin monk at some remote cave in china i'll prob be able to master all of the skills in like 3 years and then after that its SHOWTIME BABY!! presenting the youngest, and most certainly, the most talented acrobat the Russia and the rest of the world has ever seen! ladies and gentlemen, be prepared to feast your eyes on a mind-boggling gamut of acrobatic skills combined with stunts that will render even Nadia Comaneci speechless! ladies and gentlemen, i bring you Michelle Yeo!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhh. what a life.

-mich

2006-06-23T23:01:00.000+08:00

after squeezing my brain cells dry churning out econs and history simultaneously today, i have arrived at two conclusions:

conclusion one:

i simply have have have have HAVE to drop econs! its driving me mad!! its got to the point that i've been sitting in front of my piano composing i-hate-econs songs(yes its that bad). honestly, econs is like the unwanted child of the renaissance. its neither an art nor a science. well, ok. its slightly mathematical but definitely doable without a calculator so that doesnt count. anyway, after spending an unfruitful 3 hours re-editing my first commentary(with loads of insane ranting and piano playing in between), i decided to visit my ex classmates' blogs, just to see how they're coping and stuff. bad move. an immediate wave of nostalgia washed over me and soon i was flipping through my last year's stuff. and look what i found!

Specially for Michelle

Dear Michelle,

How, you must have hated me last year eh?

Well, I'm glad you've turned 'softer' this year. Perhaps we have misunderstood each other...

You're looking happier nowadays, so life is treating you well?

You will no doubt do very well in the elec geography exams because you're intelligent and you dont just learn things by heart. show me your A1 nest year!

Best wishes,
Miss Rashida

unfortunately i didnt get an A1. i got an A2. ahh well. i miss geog! aww man i miss learning about tourism, rivers, deltas, deveplopment, ox bow lakes, meanders and mines. i really should have taken geog and not econs. honestly its way more useful than econs. tourism is singapore's biggest service industry!

argh ten years down the road when i've sucessfully taken over the world i shall abolish economics.

anway now to conclusion two:

the best poems are those that are enigmatic and highly ambiguous. ok i know its a weird conclusion to arrive at since it has nothing to do with econs or history. blame the poetic streak that has been running in me. anyway just look at the last few stanzas of sylvia plath's lady lazarus:

I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby

That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.

Ash, ash--
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there--

A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.

Herr god, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

ok i know its highly disturbing. but look at the myriad of emotions it manages to conjure in us readers! and how strong the feelings are! it just puts all my poems to shame. i've realised i've been a childish and over-ambitious poet. one who has constant unattainable fantasies of writing and publishing a book. but nevermind. i shall learn and keep learning.

one day, i will make you taste the sweetness of jubilance, the acidic tang of jealousy, the bitter aftertaste of hatred. i will open your eyes and take you from the blinding whiteness of heaven to the festering darkness of hell. i will make you smell death and hear the agony of prolonged torture. but most importantly, i will make you feel. i will make you feel the terror one can only get when one gets pushed down a clift. i will make you feel the sickness one can only get while witnessing a massacre of children. i will make you feel the exuberance, the infinate joy, one can only get during one's first kiss.

i can, and i will, make you feel.

till then, i will keep writing. go mich go!

2006-06-22T00:33:00.000+08:00

Two Men

Two men
Flanked by weeping cypruses
By the frozen loch.
One a sinewy youth
With a beret and a gun in one hand,
And a sword in the other
Stretched out in a napoleanic pose.
The other figure a grinning spectre in black,
A hooded head on stooped shoulders.
He stretched out a white hand:
A proposal! An offer!
"I can help you,
Follow me."
The boy stopped, unwilling to turn
And leave his friends.
Trapped in the quagmire, unable to flee.
He shouts! He waves! He cries!
But they cannot see.
"I can save you.
Come with me."
The other one whispered.
Reluctantly the boy turned and
Faced the other man.
Clutching his hand he allowed his body to be led away
Across the ivory wall
Through the scarlet mash.
Finally he said,
"Hi, I'm John."
The man in black turned and faced him
With a blue smile.
"Pleased to meet you, John.
My name is Death."

-mich

If only you knew

2006-06-09T21:42:00.000+08:00

It started out with contagious fun,
We have not a care.
We created a little world of illusion
Because reality was too much for us to bear.

The days we spent together;
The days we spent apart.
The candy-coated memories I've gathered,
Constantly provoked my heart.

Collywobbles were just child's play,
With you by my side.
I will be at my bravest,
The stormiest seas I'll ride.

It started out as friends;
We were like two of a kind.
In us, there was never pretense;
A bond as such was hard to find.

Things continue to go smoothly
On the surface, that is.
My mind was in a state of confusion,
And I could never find peace.

The little things you do,
The little things you say
Were packed with ambiguity,
That puts my heart in disarray.

It started out so harmless;
There was never a reason to fret.
But now, that divine feeling's gone;
All there is, is threat.

The wickedness of jealousy
Puts me in such agony;
The pain stabs me hard
In my newfangled heart of ebony.

Love and hate mingles
In a chaotic paradox;
I wish I could forget it all,
And put you into an untouchable box.

No more fibs and faux plastic smiles;
Now the moment of truth is here.
I cannot keep it anymore
In my heart, the intangible fear.

Hide-and-seek leads me nowhere,
But on a journey of excruciating pain.
The reason for jealousy was uncovered,
The cause of insecurity unveiled.
I shall look fear in the eye.
I shall look you in the eye.
There is no need to conceal,
Let desire and fear entwine.

`Cass&ra

Dusk has fallen

2006-06-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

Oh my son, that so totally rocks, computer dude! My man, lemme tell cha, poems were never my thang. Besides, all these jock talk is screwing with me brain, ya know. So, I'm gonna give prose a shot. It's gonna be motherfishing rad, me tell ya! Can't friggin' wait for cha to come back from Nacho Land. Till then, jocks rock!

The masquerade shall come to a spectacular end. Paper faces shall parade no longer. Crumble those faux wispy smiles if we must. The truth shall awaken a sleeping community. Camaraderie shall embrace every fibre of our being. Evil can no longer whittle away our comradely amour, slice by disheartening slice. The foul must be devoured by the last dance.

Save the last dance for me.

`Cass&ra

2006-06-08T19:44:00.000+08:00

my first post here! ahah i cant believe im actually blogging in such a high tech blog. it really puts the whole of my un-techy self to shame. ahh nvm i shall pretend that im a computer god and that i created this whole thing myself =)=)

anw before i fly off to the land of bullfights and flamenco, of tortillas and paella, of christopher columbus and queen isabella(and their strange marriage), i'll like to give a farewell blessing to Operation Potatohead. may it be a sucess!

OH MY SON i almost forgot. BYE DUDEY!! See ya dawgheads in one and a half weeks!n keep the JOCK spirit going strong yo!

nonsensical poem of the day:

you ask me if you're beautiful
i tell you you look fine.
but in my heart i know
you're as ugly as a pulsating pustule.
for how can you be beautiful with a liar's tongue?
with dark eyes too cloudy to see purity
with cruel hands that unleash betrayal.
vileness and beauty do not go hand in hand.

you ask me if you're a good friend
i tell you you're alright
but in my heart i know
your friendliness is a mere facade.
for when did friendship encompass falsity?
when did animiosity follow generosity?
when did an embrace lead to a savage stab?
deceit and friendship do not go hand in hand.

you ask me if i like you
i tell you im ok.
but in my heart i know
words cannot describe my fury.
for your lying mouth spreads absurdity
your hands work abominations
your legs run after filth.
wickedness and love do not go hand in hand.

now the time has come
the hour of vengence draws near
unmask yourself!
show your true presence!
for you will die by my sword tonight
and the ground will laugh as it swallows your bones.

-mich

You like fun and games

2006-06-07T15:02:00.000+08:00

I don't want to play with you anymore.
Hide-and-seek is such a jaded game.